Wish things were different
Friday, January 27th, 2006There is an elderly man that walks his dog behind my office on nice days. The first time I saw him he was pushing his dog in an old stroller, he wobbled back in forth as though he was in some discomfort. It broke my heart to see him walking alone. I wonder what his life was like, why he was out walking, was he homeless,or just trying to get exercise. This went on for a few weeks, I would see him and get myself all upset hoping that he had a good life, and what could I do if he didn’t? I think that once you get to your “twlight years” you should be able to enjoy them and I was still concentrating on this man and his old dog.
Time went on and I didn’t see him for about a month and then we had a beautiful day in December and he was out walking his dog again. I was releived, because nothing bad had happened to him and I believed he had a home because I had only seen him walking on nice days. I wish I would have been satisfied with that logic. I would come home and think about him and his life. One night I was talking to my husband about him, I hoped he had someone to spend the holidays with, what if he was lonely? did he have any family?
The next day at work I was talking to one of my co-workers who has lived in the area for some time and I mentioned the man who walks his dog. She knew just who I was talking about, my worries were all about to be subsided, my co-worker told me he lived with his child and her grandson always ran out when they walked by their house to feed the man’s dog. I realized at that point the man had his best friend (his dog) with him and lived a simple life. So now when ever I see the man I just smile and wave.
The real point of this story is When you get older you should be taken care or by your family, this doesn’t mean live with them, and be able to live the rest of your years in happiness.
My Grandmother worked her whole life, since she was 14. Her mother died when she was 7, her husband was an alcoholic, she has always had to be independent. I think now that she is 75 she should be able to enjoy her life and do all the things she dreamed of. I am sure that is what she thought would happen. Over a year ago she went on 100% oxygen not because she smoked but because my grandfather did, doesn’t seem fair. So she isn’t able to travel, shop, walk, or go out on weather extreme days as often as she would have liked. She can’t have pets anymore because it bothers her breathing and she taught me about the love of animals. She lives in a house that was built in the 1930’s, the house where her 4 children were raised. The house is in need of constant repairs as most houses built that long ago, repairs take money. Her husband died 17 years ago, she has lived alone since. She says she is not lonely and she likes her independence. This year she fianlly made the comment “I guess he just didn’t want to grow old with me”, I felt her lonleiness in that comment. So my grandmother who is the strongest woman I know is on oxygen all the time, living alone, forever putting money into an old house because there isn’t an alternative. It isn’t that my mother wouldn’t love to have her mother live with her, my grandmother wouldn’t want to burden any of her children. I wish things were different, I wish I didn’t have stairs in my house so she could come here. Then she would have extra money to do whatever she wanted. I know money is an issue for everyone on a fixed income, it is sad that she worked all her life and she is still struggling.
I spoke to my grandmother today and she told me of her latest dilemia, something is wrong with the 1930’s water pipes. She has no water coming into the house. This is no way for someone who has raised 4 children and worked all her life to live. I told her I wanted her to come up and spend the night and insisted that she was alright and plumbers would be by tomorrow to talk to her about the problems. Anytime anything has gone wrong with her home she has taken it in stride, but today she said to me “I don’t know why this is happening, I have never hurt anyone in my life”. I wish things were different, I wish she would have sold that house long ago and moved into a nice condo. This has really broken my heart.
I wish she would sell that house, but it is the one thing that has remained constant. My mother and I searched online tonight for apartments for older individuals, now I will cross my fingers that she will agree to sell the house. I just want her to be able to enjoy her life.
I don’t take for granted that she is still alive. I know I am lucky to have such a wonderful woman in my life that has helped to shape me into the woman I am.
So we will see what happens with the pipes tomorrow, I hope it makes it easier to leave that house.
